Growing up, I always figured I would be a stay-at-home mom,
or would want to be a stay-at-home mom.
That’s what my mom was, and she was good at it, so it was only natural
for me to think that’s what I wanted.
That notion went out the window when I moved from Canada to
the US. Once I had moved to the States,
I had to apply to be able to work; I forget now if it was the application for
the green card, or something to allow me to work until I got a green card. Regardless, I was home for 6 months, which I
knew going into this. I thought, this is
great! Ok, great aside from the 1-income... I’d never had more than a week (maybe 2) off since I turned 16. I thought I would get so much accomplished...
How wrong was I? I
was extremely bored, felt useless and had no real motivation. I think some of it had to do with being in a
totally new environment, not knowing where anything was, not knowing anyone, and just in general being overwhelmed by all these changes. I
didn’t even really want to go driving around because the new speed limits (MPH
instead of KMH) intimidated me. Our
apartment was a mess, because I kept thinking, I can do it tomorrow. I hardly cooked, which I still blame on the
lack of counter space, but I could be delusional. I feel for my
poor husband… I must not have been fun to live with and he was probably
thinking, who is this person I just married?!
Things improved significantly when I started working. I had motivation and purpose in my life again, and was
getting out of whatever funk I was in.
This gave me new appreciation for stay-at-home moms: I don’t know how
you do it. And it also helped me figure
out that I don’t think I could be a stay-at-home mom. I need mental stimulation (not that you don't if you are a SAHM) and 9 years later,
I can say that my career is really meaningful to me. I like being able to contribute to the
family, and I have really good medical benefits, which with my health issues is
really important for us.
I have a love-hate relationship with daycare which I believe is understandable considering my son was at an in-home daycare when he
passed away. Sami has been going to
daycare since she was 11ish weeks old, but not an in-home daycare, because I couldn’t
have done it without losing my mind. We were very deliberate in
choosing our daycare and they knew/know our son’s history and have done a beautiful
job taking care and watching over her. It is still extremely hard for me but my husband makes it easier by
doing the drop off. I love her daycare
because they do teach her so much, and they do activities which I would have
never thought of doing with her (like art when she was as young as 4-5 months). She is so smart, and while I’d like to think
she gets it all from me and my husband... :) I know I have to attribute at least some of it
to daycare. How they keep her occupied all day is beyond me. The child will not sit still (unless certain things are on TV... don't judge me, I will blog about it), and I struggle to keep her stimulated just on the weekend.
The other thing I like about daycare is the social aspect of
it, and how she gets to interact with other children at such a young age. Growing up, I had friends that were my age on our street, but I didn’t get this type of interaction and I feel like it did
affect me socially, and continues to, to this day. I’m not an outgoing person. I’m not well spoken (though I can write
pretty well). I’m certainly not as shy
as I used to be, but I’m no social butterfly.
While I’ve titled my blog, “Cat’s: The Working Mom”, it
certainly does not mean that stay-at-home moms aren’t welcome to read or
comment. I have a lot of respect for
stay-at-home moms, and that’s a huge job.
So stay-at-home moms, you are working moms too!
So where am I going with all of this? I wanted to give a little insight on how I
got to where I am, but also reaffirm something I’ve learned in the past
years. Life doesn’t always go as
planned, it hardly ever does. You just
have to make the most of what life shoots at you, and hopefully it will help
you next time life happens, because doesn’t life just keep happening? Or is
that just me?
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