Balancing Work & Home: Finding "Me" Time

Me time.  Is that something that once existed?  I could do whatever I pleased.  Whenever I wanted.

Weekends are now filled with toddler centered activities.  Don't get me wrong, I wanted to have children and  I'm happy that most of my time at home is consumed with Sami.  However everyone needs a little time to themselves.


To relax a little.  
To think.  
To plan.
To re-energize.  


When Sami was a newborn and an infant, I would stay up until her 10-11pm feeding.  I also had that new mom adrenaline working for me.  And the fact that my husband would take the early feeding, allowed me some time to rest.  I recharged on the weekend by sleeping in a little.  If I could, I squeezed in a nap.

When she started mostly sleeping through the night, I started going to bed earlier and lost all those evenings/late night hours to myself.  I miss feeling like I could stay up late.  I used to be able to function well past 10pm.  I used to spend so many hours blogging or gaming past midnight.  And now?  I can still function past 10pm but I know the sleep is important... Oh the sacrifices we make to stay healthy!

I've slowly been able to integrate more and more me time into my life.  You ask, where do I now find me time now that I don't have the late evening/night energy of a 20 year old?

As you know, I find some during my lunch break at work.  I use it to meal plan, to plan activities and of course to blog!

I find some on the weekend if I wake up before 9:00.  If I can't fall back asleep, I'll use some of that time to catch up on General Hospital.  I've been watching it since my tween years sometimes on and off.  With the magic of TiVo and digital recordings, it's now mostly on.

By meal planning and by doing meal prep on the weekend, it's opened up some time on weeknight evenings.  This is still pretty new so it's mostly opened up time for my husband and I to watch a TV show we both like or for his favorite activity - laying on my lap as I rub his head and he doses off (even if it's barely past 8pm).  Perhaps I can use this newfound time to start working on scrapbooking Sami's art and pictures like I've been wanting to do and started over a year ago but haven't touched since.

If possible, I use Sami's naptime on the weekend to do something I like.  Sunday's naptime is usually reserved for meal prep as I catch up on General Hospital.  Saturday's naptime... I usually use it to finalize my grocery shopping list, and actually kick up my feet while eating lunch and catching up on some TV.  Yes, I like TV... and believe it or not - I watch a lot less than I used to.  I've evolved...

Every now and then - I take a day off work and Sami still goes to daycare.  Those are the days where I can do something for me, and do something around the house that feels productive.  I think the last time I did this, I went shopping and then I cleaned up paperwork in the home office.

Speaking of which... I need to schedule one of those soon.  I'm overdue.  I think a massage is in order.  And I need to get my hair done :)

Where do you find your me time and how do you maximize it?

Is the innocence of childhood completely gone?

Remember those carefree days from our youth?  Where we would ride our bikes around the neighborhood - sometimes you would even get lost trying to find that one fun park you went to once before.  The days of playing tag with the neighborhood kids until dusk.  Going to school to learn - and to hang out with your friends of course.

Oh the innocence of childhood and even of adolescence.

My daughter is only 2, so that may have something to do with this feeling... but I don't really want Sami riding her bike by herself around the neighborhood.  Or playing tag until dusk without supervision.  It makes me sound like I'll be super overprotective, which isn't something I want to be.

The world today doesn't seem to be what it was 30 years ago, dare I even say 20 years ago.  Perhaps it's just because of how connected we are to the whole world thanks to Mr. Internet?

I grew up in a quiet suburb of Montreal, Quebec (Canada) where you didn't really hear about guns.  I didn't really learn about mass shootings until I was just about to graduate from high school, when the Columbine Shooting occurred. I had no idea where Columbine was.  Soon after the shooting, there were many news reports or articles that recounted the events of a mass shooting that had occurred in Montreal in the late 1980s.  A man killed 14 women at l'École Polytechnicque (Montreal) because he had issues with feminism and women in general.  At least that's what I remember of the story.

To my recollection, there were 2 other shootings in Colleges/Universities while I still lived in Montreal.  At Concordia University and at Dawson College.  My brothers attended Concordia.  I took classes at Concordia.  I have friends that attended both establishments.  It was frightening, but the incidents seemed isolated enough that it wasn't something I worried about constantly.  They became sad events I had heard about and soon distant memories.

We weren't as connected to the rest of the world as we are now with all the different media avenues, but we received the newspaper daily which I perused.  We watched the news around dinner time too.

I haven't lived in Canada for 10 years now and I'm not sure what the gun laws look like now.  I'm not big on politics.  I believe that they are pretty restricted though.  Growing up, guns weren't something that seemed to concern our community.  Crime was pretty low, though not nonexistent.  I remember that my neighbor's house was burglarized in the middle of the night while they were out of town.  But never ever did I hear about stories as horrible as the ones I've been hearing or reading about for the past 5-6 years.


The Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting of late 2012 rocked me to my very core.  How crazy had the world become for completely innocent and unknowing children to become targets of what I can only call a madman?  My heart ached for the parents and the families.  I wasn't a mother yet myself, but I had yearned for children and had suffered at least one miscarriage.  I knew loss, but not to that extent.  Or at least not to the extent that I know it today.

For a long time after my son died, I avoided listening to the news and reading websites about current events.  I couldn't totally escape them, because people will talk about them, or write about them on Facebook.  I've read some horrible stories - I wrote about a few on my SpreadHappinessForPreston blog - My aversion to news.

The stories I wrote about are etched in my brain and in my heart.  I have a terrible memory - ask my husband.  But these stories, I remember reading every gruesome detail.  They still make my blood boil.  They've also instilled fear into my life.  Recent events have multiplied that fear.

All parents fear for their children, I get that.  However, school should be a place where children and teens are safe.  School should be about education, socialization and fun.  Yet, these school shootings keep occurring.

For a while, people blamed guns.  And then it was mental health.  I don't know the correct answer, but I feel like it's somewhere in between.  I get it that in America it's a citizen's right to protect their property and family.  However, who needs automatic weapons for this?  Shouldn't those be reserved for the military?  I profoundly believe that these horrible massacres wouldn't have been as terrible if automatic weapons weren't so easy to obtain, or dare I even say if they were banned.  Didn't the world used to ban books?  Is it inconceivable that certain types of weapons could/should be banned?  I don't know enough about guns to say much more.

I've been wanting to write about this for weeks now; since the Stoneman Douglas High School shooting in Florida.  Everything was still too fresh though.  I wanted time to gather my thoughts and composure.


Whatever I'm doing, if Sami is around - I don't like not being able to see her.  I need to be close.  I don't want anything to happen to her.  Don't get me wrong, I want her to have her own experiences and learn from her mistakes.  That's what life is about.  But I'm scared.  I don't look forward to her first day of kindergarten because of all these shootings, and threats made against schools.  They have drills for that.  The only drills I ever had were fire drills.  Times are a changing...

I'm frightful of the day where she'll want to go over to someone's house I don't know.  How do you ask another parent if they have guns in the house without offending them.  And if they have guns, where are they?  Is there any possibility that the kids could access them?  How do you let down your child if you don't feel comfortable with it?

I wish these weren't fears I have.

I wish these weren't fears many parents.

I wish these weren't fears our children are going to have.

Learning with Mama: Puzzles

I remember loving puzzles at a young age.  I also remember when the 100 piece puzzles became so effortless that I would mix 3 or 4 puzzles together to make it more challenging and fun.

I bought Sami her first puzzle in early 2017 when she was just over 1 year old.  I was a little skeptical since the puzzle stated that it was for ages 2+.  I've since learned that I can disregard that suggestion on many toys unless they do have tiny parts.

Her first puzzle is one of the best I've seen.  It had 9 little hinged doors, and in each was a magnet.  For example, there's a dog house on the door and inside is a magnet shaped dog.  There's a garage and inside there's a magnet shaped car.  The outer edges of the magnet are also color coded to help the little ones out. Here's a link to the puzzle: https://www.target.com/p/melissa-doug-hide-seek-board-game/-/A-50715782

This puzzle not only helped her with colors, but helped her learn new sounds and eventually words.  Her favorite magnet was the car for a long time.  She use to call a car a "beep beep" which makes me really nostalgic to think about.  What a cutie!

She also loved playing with the magnets on the fridge.  She'd take one from the puzzle, run to the kitchen, them back and forth one at a time.  It was a great way to get her tired for nap time!  She certainly doesn't play with this puzzle as much as she used to, but oh the fun we had.  She still plays with it from time to time and can name all the items with ease.  The lunchbox, treasure and turkey used to stump her a little.

She's since gotten a few more puzzles.  One is a Mickey Mouse one with all the characters from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  It's a wood puzzle where the characters drop-into place.  This one was a little challenging at first since her motor skills were still in the early stages of development when she got it (around 18 months of age).  She knew where the characters went, so she'd put it in the area of where they would go, but they weren't in the correct position to be able to fall in.  She's a champ now, but I think it was a good tool to help her work on her motor skills.  Here's a link to that one: https://www.walmart.com/ip/Disney-Mickey-Mouse-Clubhouse-Wooden-Chunky-Puzzle/40752751

She got a similar puzzle for Christmas, a drop-into place one.  This one continues to help with re-enforcing colors and shapes.  She knows all the shapes although she'll mix up a few every now and then.  We work on them every week and it makes it fun for her.  Sometimes I'll take the pieces asking her where they go.  "I'll ask her does it go here?" "No......." she replies "It goes here Mama".  Here's the link: https://www.target.com/p/melissa-doug-174-wooden-chunky-puzzle-set-wild-safari-animals-and-shapes-16pc/-/A-51215997

Lastly I got her a wooden jigsaw puzzle.  This one is definitely more challenging with its 12 pieces.  I kind of wish it had an image of what it's supposed to look like on the bottom of the holder to assist her with where it goes, but she's getting it more and more every time we do the puzzle.  She often selects the correct place for it, but isn't lifting it to snap it into place, or turns it the wrong way.  She'll get there I'm sure.  I try to get her to associate the different colors to match up each piece.  Here's a link to this puzzle:
https://www.target.com/p/melissa-doug-174-animals-wooden-jigsaw-puzzles-set-pets-and-farm-life-24pc/-/A-50224844

I don't want Sami to grow up too fast, and I savor every day with my little girl.  But part of me can't wait for her to be old enough to complete 1000+ piece puzzles with me.

My 5am-9pm: Stamps, fishes and sleep regression?

Welcome to another week gone by...  There was no snow last week, but the commute was not optimal.  Lots of accidents I guess?

Saturday

We went to swim class which is always a great way to start my weekend.  Sami is progressing well even if she is currently not a fan of going underwater.  I'm working with her on closing her mouth when I wash her hair in the bath and she's getting it.  I'm hoping it can translate to the pool.

We went to the mall and Sami got another Mickey.  Can you ever have too many Mickeys?

Sunday

We decided to go to the Aquarium late in the morning.  Parking was not fun - mental note -- get there as they open next time.  Seems like everyone decided to go to the Aquarium that day.  Hubby was a trouper and waited in the long lines to buy entry tickets as I pushed Sami around in her stroller.  We eventually got in and had a wonderful time.

Sami loved all the fishies, the turtles, the sharks and the tiger (yes there really is a tiger in the Aquarium).  The following night, on a call with my parents, Sami was able to tell them what she did:  "Where did we go yesterday Sami?" - "The quarium".  "What did we see at the Aquarium?" -  "FISHIES!! And..uh...turtles and sharks! And and and a tiger!!"

With the Aquarium came the ride home which was right around nap time... She slept for maybe 30 minutes... and then didn't nap the rest of the afternoon.  Toddlers and missing their nap or their full nap - always a fun time!

Monday-Friday

Four out of five nights, Sami woke up between 2 and 3.  I mean she woke up.  Blabbing to herself like she does if it was 6am.  My husband was a champ and went to see her 3 out of 4 nights.  We thought perhaps she had a full diaper, but it was not the case.  We don't know why she's been waking up.  I've read countless of articles and all I can think is that it could be sleep regression.  Perhaps because she's learning a new skill (potty training), or perhaps because she's getting too little or too much sleep.  We can try to tinker with her bedtime, but for now we'll see how it goes.  Just when you think you are going to start getting some shut-eye....

Work was pretty busy last week.  I've been assigned a new task and then landed 2 projects so that has been keeping me busy.

Potty training is slowly picking up again.  I've been motivating my girl with stickers which she absolutely loves.  When she goes potty, she gets to put a sticker on the calendar for that day.  I believe we had stickers on 5 days last week!  To some, this seems like rewarding behavior that you are supposed to learn.  To others it seems like a bribe.  I see it as a motivating factor that makes her excited to learn and it's not something I will do forever.  Once she's got it down pat and doesn't need the motivation anymore, she can have the stickers to put in a sticker book.  At least that's how I see it in theory... we'll see how it works in reality.  Wish me luck!

My struggle for the week - obviously the sleep regression but also the stamps... Sami got gifted a set of stamps and she LOVES it.  She pushes the stamp down on the little square pad of ink and then on her sheet of paper.  Problem is, I don't want the ink everywhere, so it requires constant supervision.  It does have it's positives as you'll read below, but she wants to play with these all the time which makes it difficult for me to do other things.

Success for the week - potty training progress and the stamps!  I am so impressed with my little girl's motor skills!  I thought for sure she would need more assistance with playing with these since they are recommended for 3+, but she's doing it really well!  And it's reinforcing her colors (hubby got her a pack of 20 or so different color ink pads to supplement the stamp kit).

I've been looking for ward to Sami getting a little older so that we can do art projects together.  She loves art, or seems to from the pictures I receive from daycare and the excitement she demonstrates when I get the crayons out.  I am by no means artistic or talented in this area, but they sell kits and have ideas ready to go at craft stores so I thought I could maybe get one every month or so for us to do on Sundays.  A good Mama-Sami bonding activity for us to hopefully do for a long time.

Now that I know I don't really need to wait another 6 months... I have an idea for what art activity she might enjoy.  Stay tuned - you'll read about it next week.

Until then :)

#MealPlanMonday: March 3-9 & Continued picky eating

And it's Monday again!  Below is my meal calendar for March.



On the menu this week:

• Baked Honey Mustard Chicken Breast with a Touch of Lemon
• Slow-Cooker Beef & Sweet Potato Stew
• Greek Style Chicken Paillard
• Mac & Cheese with Broccoli & Bacon
• Mom's Meatloaf

As I was doing my grocery list last week, I decided to nix the slow-cooker recipe.  We had just had stew (a different recipe) and I never got around to making the sheet-pan fajitas.  That's on the menu for tonight.

I haven't made the baked honey mustard chicken yet, so as with every week, it seems that I don't exactly make what's planned on a specific night.  I may rethink how my calendar looks over the next couple months but overall, the meal planning is still working for me and my family.  The themes help me make the weekly menu interesting and ensure there's enough variety.  Actually writing "leftovers" on my calendar takes some pressure off.  Sticking to the actual daily menu has been challenging for different reasons.  I'll tinker around and see what I come up with.

I did meal prep yesterday evening, which is later than I had planned.  The little one had a short nap (which made for a cranky little girl later in the day) and it was such a nice day that we took her to the park.  There went my usual allotted time for meal prep.  I still need to meal prep the mac & cheese and meatloaf, but I figure I can do that tonight, Tuesday night or even Wednesday night.  Not my preference, but I can make it work.  It's better than the alternative of no meal prep - I've learned the hard way.

I'm excited to try the chicken recipes, especially since chicken is about the only type of meat Sami will eat.  The mac & cheese I've made before (I may have veered off the original recipe) and I've made my mom's meatloaf too.  Both are worth being in some type of rotation in my selection of recipes when meal planning.

**

My picky eater is still a picky eater.  She continues to do well with breakfast. I have different types of chicken recipes I can make that she'll eat for dinner, along with occasional other dishes like mac & cheese (not always a winner), grilled cheese, peanut butter sandwich and fish sticks with applesauce.  I'm still struggling to get her to try veggies or really anything I make that doesn't involve chicken.  I put whatever I make or leftovers on her plate almost every night, but she doesn't touch it.  She just points and says "that" with a look that says "Mother, what are you trying to poison me with now?".

Lunch is even more of a struggle.  She has pasta at least 3 times a week (the can of Annie's organic pasta makes 3 servings).  I don't want to give her chicken for lunch and dinner - that's tempting fate that she'll get sick of chicken and start refusing it altogether.  Sandwiches are hit and miss.  She'll usually eat the bread, and cheese slice if there's any, but doesn't take to lunch meats.  I can't do peanut butter because she goes to daycare.  It leaves me feeling so limited.  I'm left with - I could pack her something in the hopes that she'll eat it... but what if she doesn't?  Then she has no lunch.  It's a catch 22.

However, I have found that she's more likely to eat the sandwich (or bread and cheese) if it's in a fun shape.  I invested in some heart shaped, star shaped and other various shaped small cookie cutters.  As far as I can tell, it works.  I need to keep at it and use them strategically to get Sami to try more fruits and vegetables.

I've also added to my collection as special occasions roll around.  My "cookie cutters" for Halloween and Fall are actually crust cutters (for pie), but they worked relatively well on bread.  

The cookie cutter trick is one that I need to keep using, I just need to find clever ways to use them for veggies... stay tuned!

 

Product Review: Neat Solutions Bibs

I thought I would do some product reviews as part of my blog.  I can share products that I love and use, and also share products that I have tried and have been a bust.  In a couple weeks I'll be trying out Blue Apron, so I'll be happy to report on that.  I've been wanting to try a service like what Blue Apron offers for a while now.  I'm not super excited about the recipes (hubby isn't either since it involves vegetables...), but I am curious about how it all goes.

I bought the bibs pictured above at the grocery store some months ago.  They are my favorite so far, aside from some of the ones we used when Sami was an infant.  They had been gifted to me by a friend (Kimm - thank you they were awesome), and they had been handmade.  I don't know if she bought them off Etsy.  They were made of cloth, and tied around the neck with a velcro strap (and the kind that actually works for a long time).  They also had an circle pad at the bottom of the bib to absorb messes.  She has unfortunately outgrown those.

The pictured bibs are made by "Neat Solutions".  As stated above, I bought them at the grocery store, "King Soopers" for you local Coloradans.  I absolutely love these bibs.  I even bought a second set.

I wish I could remember what I bought them for.  I think it was $4.99 for the set of 2.  I'm currently browsing Target's website since I couldn't find them on KS's website.  They have a similar set of 3 for $8.99.  That should give you an idea of the price.  And if you really want them - Target.com.

I don't know that I have anything negative to say about them.

They are made of terry cloth, which makes them easy to wash.  Bonus for me, I don't do the laundry - so that falls on my hubby, haha!  The other advantage of terry cloth is that it's absorbent so it will be sure to catch those sticky, gooey or watery messes.

They are easy to put on.  When you have a toddler and messing with a piece of velcro that just won't stay fastened, it is not the ideal situation.  Especially when they wiggle and are unhappy that it's dinner time.  Have I mentioned how still my daughter likes to stay?  Yeah, never - always has to be moving.  

And hey, let's face it, they are cute too!!  And they do have some for boys - I just don't have a picture of those to take for you. :)

Balancing Work & Home: Allowing yourself to disconnect

Hi everyone,

This is a series I am aiming to write about couple times a month.  This is still something I struggle with, but I have definitely made strides in the past couple of years.

There was a time where my plate was so full that I felt I needed to stay on top of my work emails from home.  It helped me efficiently plan my tasks for the next work day.  I really like being busy at work, but I have to be efficient at it.

Thanks to smartphones, we have access to such things at our fingertips .  It is dangerously easy to not disconnect from work.  When I used to ride the train home, my commute was close to an hour and a half each way.  I had a lot of time and well my phone was right there...

Since I drive to work, I can't be on my phone as I commute which really has helped me unplug from work. Listening to podcasts has also helped veer my mind onto other subjects further helping me bring an end to my work day.

I used to get home and vent to my husband about everything that went wrong that day.  I wouldn't mention what went right, and what I'd accomplished.  Just what went wrong because all I would do was think about it on my commute.  It would simmer and simmer, and I just had to let it all out when I got home.

The disconnect helps me appreciate what went right every day, and helps me see how trivial some of the things that I used to get so worked up about.  Now that I'm not all agitated when I get home, makes the evening and nighttime routines all that much more enjoyable.  It puts me in a better mood which overall has an impact on everyone else in the house.

Does that mean I never check email from home?  I'll be really honest, I still do.  It still helps me prioritize my mornings to know what's waiting for me.  If it's something complex, it gives me time to mull it over.  But I don't check it like I used to and I usually wait until Sami's asleep.

All in all, whatever ways you can find to help yourself disconnect from work will make a huge difference in your life.  Maybe you can never totally disconnect from work, but give your mind a little break - even if it's just for a couple hours.  It'll do you, and your family some good.