Tuesday, November 14, 2017

I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom

For a little history, please visit my Introduction page.


Growing up, I always figured I would be a stay-at-home mom, or would want to be a stay-at-home mom.  That’s what my mom was, and she was good at it, so it was only natural for me to think that’s what I wanted.

That notion went out the window when I moved from Canada to the US.  Once I had moved to the States, I had to apply to be able to work; I forget now if it was the application for the green card, or something to allow me to work until I got a green card.  Regardless, I was home for 6 months, which I knew going into this.  I thought, this is great! Ok, great aside from the 1-income...  I’d never had more than a week (maybe 2) off since I turned 16.  I thought I would get so much accomplished...

How wrong was I?  I was extremely bored, felt useless and had no real motivation.  I think some of it had to do with being in a totally new environment, not knowing where anything was, not knowing anyone, and just in general being overwhelmed by all these changes.  I didn’t even really want to go driving around because the new speed limits (MPH instead of KMH) intimidated me.  Our apartment was a mess, because I kept thinking, I can do it tomorrow.  I hardly cooked, which I still blame on the lack of counter space, but I could be delusional.  I feel for my poor husband… I must not have been fun to live with and he was probably thinking, who is this person I just married?!

Things improved significantly when I started working.  I had motivation and purpose in my life again, and was getting out of whatever funk I was in.  This gave me new appreciation for stay-at-home moms: I don’t know how you do it.  And it also helped me figure out that I don’t think I could be a stay-at-home mom.  I need mental stimulation (not that you don't if you are a SAHM) and 9 years later, I can say that my career is really meaningful to me.  I like being able to contribute to the family, and I have really good medical benefits, which with my health issues is really important for us.

I have a love-hate relationship with daycare which I believe is understandable considering my son was at an in-home daycare when he passed away.  Sami has been going to daycare since she was 11ish weeks old, but not an in-home daycare, because I couldn’t have done it without losing my mind.  We were very deliberate in choosing our daycare and they knew/know our son’s history and have done a beautiful job taking care and watching over her.  It is still extremely hard for me but my husband makes it easier by doing the drop off.  I love her daycare because they do teach her so much, and they do activities which I would have never thought of doing with her (like art when she was as young as 4-5 months).  She is so smart, and while I’d like to think she gets it all from me and my husband... :) I know I have to attribute at least some of it to daycare.  How they keep her occupied all day is beyond me.  The child will not sit still (unless certain things are on TV... don't judge me, I will blog about it), and I struggle to keep her stimulated just on the weekend.

The other thing I like about daycare is the social aspect of it, and how she gets to interact with other children at such a young age.  Growing up, I had friends that were my age on our street, but I didn’t get this type of interaction and I feel like it did affect me socially, and continues to, to this day.  I’m not an outgoing person.  I’m not well spoken (though I can write pretty well).  I’m certainly not as shy as I used to be, but I’m no social butterfly.

While I’ve titled my blog, “Cat’s: The Working Mom”, it certainly does not mean that stay-at-home moms aren’t welcome to read or comment.  I have a lot of respect for stay-at-home moms, and that’s a huge job.  So stay-at-home moms, you are working moms too!

So where am I going with all of this?  I wanted to give a little insight on how I got to where I am, but also reaffirm something I’ve learned in the past years.  Life doesn’t always go as planned, it hardly ever does.  You just have to make the most of what life shoots at you, and hopefully it will help you next time life happens, because doesn’t life just keep happening? Or is that just me?

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