#ProudParent and #ParentFail

It feels like forever ago since I wrote a blog on my laptop.  Since Sami became mobile, I can count on my fingers how many times I've actually opened my laptop which feels so odd since it used to be a daily occurrence.  Whether I was blogging on SpreadHappinessForPreston@blogspot.com, or whether I was gaming - playing my priest Tsunaze on World of Warcraft (side note - miss you Tsunaze and all my WoW friends), my laptop was always on.

Perhaps this is a good segue (pronounced seg-way, I had to look it up because I thought it was spelled segway) into my topic for this post.  As parents, we don't have a lot of free time.  We're either spending all our time with our kids, working, or managing the household.  Gone are the days where I have time to play World of Warcraft.  That is, unless I want to stay up until what are now unGodly hours.  What happened to me?? I used to be such a night owl... oh yeah - I had kids! :)

Gone are the days where I could spend hours on a blog post - typing it, editing it, re-editing it and choosing the perfect photograph which had been tinkered around with in Photoshop before being added to a blog post.

Now? I haven't even uploaded Sami's birthday party pictures onto my laptop to share on DropBox with my family - or on this blog.  I hardly ever have a picture on my blog because it would take me double the time to get a post up, and it's hard enough to get one up every week.

I'm writing this post on Thursday evening, because all my lunch breaks have been short this week.  I left early on Valentine's Day to go to Sami's little party at her daycare... only to get there and have Sami want to leave immediately.. despite the fact that 90% of the time when I pick her up from daycare, she runs in the opposite direction, not wanting to go home at all.

And I am going into the office late tomorrow, because I get to do something I hardly ever do - bring Sami to daycare since my husband is at his parent's through tomorrow.  And so, I've made up for some time by taking shorter lunches, which has meant I haven't had time to post anything...

And now I've rambled and totally gotten off point.

Being a parent, is filled with moments that make our hearts want to explode with happiness.  Out of sheer love.  And out of being proud! 

Being a parent, can be overwhelmingly frustrating.  We feel like we are doing the best we can, yet the results aren't what we want them to be.  What we expect them to be.  If you are feeling frustrated, you are not alone.  If you are feeling like you are doing the best you can, you probably are.

I don't like being told "everything is going to be okay".  Perhaps I've said it before.  Things will never be completely okay for me.  So I will not tell you that everything is going to be okay.

Instead, I will share my top #ProudParent moments, as well as some of my top #ParentFail moments.  We all have them, and that's what makes us human.  And the fact that we all have them, hopefully makes you feel like you aren't alone.  I may say #ParentFail, but really, it's just to put a funny twist on it.  While I can't promise that everything will be okay for all of eternity, I will tell you that you will get through it.  Soon these frustrations will be something you laugh about - "remember when you used to..." 

#ProudParent moments for Preston - I have two top proud moment for Preston.  One was the couple milestones he hit.  His smile, and discovering his hands.  I loved that, and I was so proud.  It made me feel like what I was doing to help him develop was working.  My second is how he taught me.  He taught me extreme empathy.  He taught me to share my story to hopefully help others.  And while I'm no longer actively grieving like I was when I blogged about him and grief, the premise of this blog is to help other moms, other parents feel like they aren't alone.  Its to give you a place to talk about your successes as a parent.  With social media it seems like the world has gotten overly sensitive where you can't say anything without being judged.  I'd even go as far as saying, instead of being innocent until proven guilty, we live in a world where you are sentenced before being judged just for having an opinion.  That's not what I want you to find here. 

#ParentFail moment for Preston - Without going to a dark place, which isn't the intent of this, I can't think of one.  And even if I were to go to a dark place, deep down, I know I didn't fail Preston.


#ProudParent moments for Sami - Up there are definitely some of the more major milestones, like rolling over, crawling, and walking.  I think really what has blown me away so much is her vocabulary - it started really expanding at 19-20 months and it's just kept growing since then.  She can count (1-2-3-4-5-6-7-10-7-8-9-10).  She can sing lots of different songs.  She can say her alphabet for the most part.  She knows her name including her last name.  She can form sentences and I understand her 95% of the time.  She knows all her animals and their sounds.  Her newest is the "snap" of a crocodile.  She knows all her colors and shapes.  I'm continually amazed.

#ParentFail moment for Sami - I've discussed it, picky eating has been a struggle though it seems to be petering slowly.  She ate a couple green beans this week!  Defiance is the toughest one.  I feel like I'm totally failing, nothing is working.  I've tried re-directing.  I've tried time-outs.  I've tried getting down to her level to talk to her.  I've tried being stern.  I've tried being gentle.  I've tried addressing her feelings.  I guess it's just something that will take time, but it's definitely a tough one as of right now.

I hope you'll share your proud and "fail" moments.  Wishing you a great night!